


The stars aren't out tonight

by ZeroInterest



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, motor accidents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-06 16:56:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5424731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZeroInterest/pseuds/ZeroInterest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>He was my universe<i></i></i>
  <br/>
  <i>The stars in my sky<i></i></i>
  <br/>
  <i>He called me his moon<i></i></i>
  <br/>
  <i>And held me when I’d cry<i></i></i>
  <br/>
  <i>But nothing is eternal<i></i></i>
  <br/>
  <i>And I learned it in a flash<i></i></i>
  <br/>
  <i>As all i knew was shattered<i></i></i>
  <br/>
  <i>That day, in that crash<i></i></i>
  <br/>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	The stars aren't out tonight

**Author's Note:**

> So this is one of my first serious fanfics and I'm not really a writer but I just suddenly really wanted to write this scenario after the first verse of the poem in the summary just appeared in my head. Also this was written in one consecutive hour while I was sick so it might not be very good (I don't really like the ending tbh) but whatever hopefully you still get some cheap feels from it.

I stared blankly at the wall, frozen half way out of bed, the phone I had held to my ear now in a slack grip, arm falling limply to my side. My mind was strangely numb and my heart a weak thumping from what felt like miles away. My mind was lost with no grip left on reality but a strange awareness of the way my arm felt against my knee and how my back was starting to ache from the awkward position it was in. For a while i just floated, forgetting what put me in this state until I was forcibly shaken out of my trance by a loud thumping on my door.

“Kei!” my mother called from the other side. “Kei are you in there I’ve tried to call you twice already!” 

I shook myself, managing to free my body but my mind still floated. I stood up properly and went to press the display on my phone to end the ignored call but discovered it had already been ended, presumably by the person on the other side. I must have been out of it for longer than I thought. I threw my phone on my bed and turned to the door.

“Coming, mother,” I half-heartedly called to the person behind my door. I heard her sigh softly and shuffle her feet a bit.

“Kei, honey, are you alright?” she asked with a voice laced with concern. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’m fine!” I replied quickly, too quickly.

“Kei.” Her voice was reprimanding and stern but still undeniably kind and caring. “Please tell me what’s wrong, you have to talk about your problems. We don’t want what happened with Akiteru happening again.”

At the mention of my brother I stiffened and clamped up. I knew she meant well but those wounds were only recently healed and still stung if prodded; they were old scars after all. I turned away from the door and collapsed back onto the bed I had only recently vacated, pointedly ignoring the quiet click of the door as my mother entered the room and the gentle dip of the mattress as she sat beside me. I felt her hand ghost over my hair in a way it hadn’t in several years. It felt so foreign yet, in a way, so familiar and comforting I was torn between leaning my head closer and pulling away.

“Kei, baby, please tell me what’s wrong. This obviously isn’t nothing.”

She was right, this wasn’t nothing, this was everything. Everything I ever cared about and loved. Everything good and pure in this world. Everything that made me truly happy to be alive. This was my best friend and, as of recent, boyfriend, Yamaguchi Tadashi. Well, not anymore it seems. I grabbed my phone from where it had landed on the side of my bed and handed it to her. She looked at me quizzically but all I could do was stare back blankly before slowly looking to the phone and then back. She got the hint. She looked down at the display and then back at me, confusion replaced with dread.

“Kei… why is the hospital calling you?” she asked tentatively, as if she didn’t want to know. All I could muster was a small whine. Her dread morphed into realisation and then horror. “W-who?”

“-Dashi.” My voice was a weak croak, barely audible. I tried again. “Tadashi.”

My mother’s eyes widened.

“Oh, Kei” was all she said as she wrapped me in a tight embrace. I didn’t resist. 

Soon I could feel sobs building up in my very core. I tried to stifle my cries but a hoarse sob tore my throat open and soon I could no longer hold back. Tears streamed down my face as my mother rubbed circles on my back and hummed softly. Just like Tadashi used to. Those words sent another heart-wrenching sob through my body. _Used to_. I would never see him again, never kiss him again, never hold his hand while doing homework like we used to. But worst of all he would never smile again, not for me, nor for anyone else, he couldn’t.

“Kei I know you don’t want to talk about it but I need to know,” my mom said once I had calmed down a bit. “what happened?”

I didn’t want to remember. I didn’t want to replay the apologetic words the woman on the phone had told me. _I didn’t want to_. But I had to. I sighed deeply.

“Tadashi was… in an accident. A bad one. There was a drunk driver and, and he just… mom… he’s _dead_.” 

Once she got me to talk the floodgates opened and all I could do was stutter out questions and accusations at the world. How could such a thing happen? Why me? Why _him_? It was all unfair. It was all so unfair. Who was this driver? I was going to kill whoever it was. Whoever took Tadashi from me deserved a worse fate than any prison could offer. Of course I knew I would never act on any of this and I was generally against capital punishment but it was just so _unfair_ and I was understandably angry. Of course I was angry, what sane human wouldn’t be? Who wouldn’t want him back?

I want him back, oh god I want him back.

Please, give him back.

Tadashi… my Tadashi.

I love you, even if you’re not here to see it.

_Goodbye._


End file.
